Wedding Speech Do's and Don'ts
Giving a wedding speech? Make it the best gift you could possibly give
I like early summer. Along with the arrival of sun-lit evenings and hanging baskets is the sudden pick up in weddings - and therefore clients who want help with their speeches. I love working on wedding speeches for two reasons: 1 - I get to hear about a couple and two families and devour their best stories; 2 - I get to support my client to give a speech they really care about; a speech that will be re-watched at every anniversary with a nought in it.
Three people traditionally give speeches at weddings: the Father of the bride, the groom (although this is actually ‘the couple’s speech’ so brides can get involved) and the best person, who’s usually a man. There are a few to-dos that all speakers should follow:
- Don’t play to one particular section of the party.
- Know what your speech should cover and who you should toast.
- Care about length - Too long (12 mins plus) and you’ll look like you’re at a conference; too short (less than five minutes) and you’ll look like you haven’t tried.
- Never embarrass anyone.
But here are some specific do’s and don’ts for the respective speakers. All borne from experience, some of it toe-curling.
Father of the bride
Do: Talk about your initial observations of the groom; make this humorous.
Don’t: State how proud you are of your daughter by reeling off her academic achievements or career accomplishment; your pride needs to stem from her terrific character.
The Groom / Couple
Do: Contrast initial perspectives. For instance, “When I first saw Jenny at the photocopier, I was blown away and started talking nervously about seeing Parasite the night before with my mum. All I was thinking was, ‘She’s amazing.’ Meanwhile, she was thinking … ‘What sort of man goes to the cinema with his mum?”
Don’t: Use your speech as a convenient opportunity to tell everyone in your family how much you love them.
The Best Person
Do: Talk about why the couple are perfect for each other - but only if you genuinely believe they are.
Don’t: Read out the apologies of those who can’t be there. It’s tedious and nobody who’s physically in the room cares.
If you want some help crafting your wedding speech then get in touch.
“I'd never spoken in public before giving my Mother of the Bride speech so I just didn't know where to begin. With that came the fear of looking daft and letting Becky down. So Emma was a complete god-send. She organised me and helped me to give a really good speech that did myself and Becky proud.”